The Peculiarity of First Love
by MyGhela
Summary: [Even the best love stories have an end.] Dedicated to bs13


_**The Peculiarity of First Love**_

There's a first time for everything. Your first crush, first hugs, and first love and there comes the first kiss. Everything in first is very special; your naïveness and too much curiosity will be unleashed. But in a matter of fact that the word 'FIRST' will always be followed by the word 'LAST' And likewise there is nothing as infinite as the circle's shape; nothing is permanent in this world. Are you ready to accept that for the first time in your life?

_Unrequited first love._

Those are the ones that hurt the most.

Those are the ones you can never forget.

It all started on the summer of 2008, when I first met him. The first time I fell in love with him.

I was 14 at the time; I was in our local library looking for a book my mother asked me to find, when I saw him. He was alone reading a book but I didn't pay much attention to him, I focused on finding the book my mother asked for. I continued my way to the aisles of book shelves until I found it.

I was about to check it out when I bumped into someone that sent me and the book tumbling down to the floor.

I internally cursed a few words that weren't appropriate for a 14 year old to know.

"S-sorry…" I heard someone mumble as I looked up to them. _Blue eyes._

It was the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen. And his black hair contrasted with his white almost porcelain skin.

Every word I knew went flying out of my brain as I was reduced to nothing but a mumbling mess.

"I-it's f-fine" I stuttered, taking his hand and getting up. "I'm fine"

"T-that's good" He said rubbing the back of his neck as he avoided my gaze. "Sorry"

"It's fine" I replied looking down at my feet as he turned to look at me.

There was an awkward silence for a moment before my brain started to function properly again.

"I-I-I gotta go" I said before walking away with a tint of crimson on my cheeks.

And as I turned to look at him for the last time, I couldn't help but notice the same colored blush on his cheeks.

When I got home, my mother asked where the book was but my thoughts were still a scattered mess so I just said that the library didn't have it.

Every day after that day I went to the library in hopes of seeing again but to my dismay, he wasn't there.

I was about to give up hope when I saw him again but not in the library but in an ice cream parlor.

My best friend and I decided to go out and buy some ice cream because of the heat. I felt like melting just stepping out of our house. We walked our usual route to the parlor; crossing the street, turning a corner towards the main street and greeting an old lady who owned a little fruit shop– and when we got there, I noticed him sitting alone by the window eating some ice cream.

I stopped dead in my tracks and my best friend turned to me to ask what was wrong but I just tugged on her arm and ran.

I ran away from the parlor until we were back to the fruit shop where the old lady greeted us with a smile, I returned the smile while trying to catch my breath.

"What's your problem?" My best friend, Patricia asked.

"I'm not in the mood for ice cream anymore." I lied.

"Well, you could've just told me that than pulling me and running a block away." She said "Now, what?"

"Uh... how about some watermelon?" I said looking at the fruit stand where a variety of fruits were all lined up in a row. "My treat?"

I saw her think about it for a moment before sighing and I saying "Sure."

The third time I saw him was during the start of the school year.

He was the new student in my class and I nearly bumped into a tree when I saw him walking into the school building and I nearly choked on my own breath when I saw him in front of the class introducing himself.

"My name's Fabian Rutter" He said "Nice to make your acquaintance." He smiled shyly and I nearly melted.

That was the day when I started to secretly catch a glimpse of him, the day I started writing letter confessing my love for him but never sending them, the day I started imagining what it would be like to be his wife during history class. It was the day when I turn and look away every time he caught me looking at him. The day when all my thoughts were invaded by him and only him.

It pained me to see him with his friends laughing and not being the cause of those lovely sounds but I always kept it to myself. Sometimes I poured my heart out to my best friend but she never really cared for love, so I never got good advice from her. But she still tried, and that made me smile.

My infatuation for him wasn't a complete and utter secret but apparently; he was completely oblivious to it.

One day in class we were assigned to be partners for a project and I nearly jumped for Joy.

We were in the library during some research and I couldn't help but steal some quick glances towards him and every time he caught me I would look away with an intense blush on my face.

"Uh… Joy?" I heard him call my name in his tender voice, it made my knees go weak, thankfully I was sitting down.

"Y-yeah?" I stuttered, still gathering my thoughts together.

"I found it," He said, holding up a book "The book for our project."

"Oh, okay" I said, "Great."

"Maybe we should call it a day, it's almost six"

"Okay" I replied with slight disappointment. I wanted to spend more time with him, even if that meant that it was being stuck in a library for hours.

"Or… if you want we could go out and get something to eat first…"

That made my disposition better. And I couldn't help but smile.

"Sounds lovely."

We were in the same ice cream parlor that I saw him during summer break and it was mostly just the two of us. I was eating my chocolate Sunday when he said I had some chocolate syrup on my upper lip, I was about to get my napkin to wipe it but he beat me to it. When he leaned across the small round table to remove the chocolate syrup, my breath stopped in my lungs. I couldn't help but stare at his lips and that was when I noticed him staring at mine.

And that was the day I had my first kiss.

And that was the day, everything changed between us.

We started off as a shy couple, never really showed our relationship in front of others, besides the shy hand holding in halls and the stares that we gave to each other.

People called us a cute couple, and it made me happy.

It made me feel contented.

We walked to and from school together, and every Friday after school we would visit the ice cream parlor for some ice cream and sometimes steal kisses from one another. Ending in me giggling like a crazy person, but the smile and chuckles that I received from him were precious.

And I loved him.

But it didn't last.

We ended up having an argument that I don't even remember what was it about.

I tried my best to patch things up and he did too but after that, we were never the same again.

There was something missing, something wrong. There was a hole in a relationship; maybe it was there all the time and I just never noticed but when I waited for him after school on Friday, ready for our regular ice cream date, and he didn't show, I slowly felt my heart breaking.

I thought maybe he was busy and had some assignments he needed to do, but when I tried to call him, he wasn't picking up.

Busy.

He was busy.

I tried to tell myself but when I was on my way home, I saw him in the parlor and I instantly smiled.

He was waiting for me.

Wrong.

I noticed he was with someone, a girl.

They were eating ice cream and I saw him picking up a napkin and leaning forward to wipe something off of her face. So many emotions went through me, anger, sadness, hurt, rage but in the end, all I felt was numbness.

I continued my way back home without looking back because it of the pain I knew I would feel if I did.

That night, I tried to cry myself to sleep but I couldn't.

I felt nothing.

I was numb.

I confronted him about it on Saturday and he didn't deny it.

He said that he wasn't happy anymore, but he defended himself that nothing happened between them. They didn't kiss or anything, they were just eating and talking. The way he talked about the girl broke my heart. I saw how his eyes shined when he was telling me that the girl's name is Nina and that they had so many things in common.

I tried to smile and congratulated him but my words ended up being filled with venom and bitterness.

"Joy, I'm sorry," He said "I didn't mean to hurt you but, were just not meant to be."

"You're right" I said. "I just want you to know that you're my first love, Fabian. Nothing will change that, I hope you know that"

"I do" He replied "You're my first love too, Joy. But I guess, it's time for the end"

I wanted to say something but I didn't trust my voice so I just nodded and walked away from him.

Just like that, my first love ended.

My best friend tried to comfort me but I didn't need it. I was fine.

Sure, I cried but I didn't need comfort because I was happy for him.

There were times when our eyes met in the halls and without fail, we would look away once, and then, our eyes will meet again.

Overall, the pain that I went through was worth it, because before I met him, I never knew what it was like to be able to look at someone and smile for no reason.

For now, I refuse to love. I say for now because I know eventually I will love again.

But I'll never forget him.

It's impossible to.

It's funny how we spend most of our lives looking for love, at least that's how it seems to me. We have this image of what we want. Intelligent, handsome, funny, romantic, thoughtful, whatever it was. Then it happens, you meet someone and you find that he doesn't even fit that image, you just know you love him. Then he has your heart. That's what happened to me.

Maybe our love wasn't as magical or tragic and unrequited but it was something.

He was my first love, I was his, and he was mine.

But even the best love stories have an end.

* * *

**Dedicated to bs13 because she's lovely and was my inspiration for this sotry~ **

**Nope, still not studying for college entrance exam. **

**Kill me now~ **


End file.
